As always, I adore our time together and our conversation got me thinking about some of the things that helped me during my own transition/journey. It prompted me to re-read Lean In, and I found some ideas that apply to us ladies at the table. I’ve encapsulated some of them below.
“From a very early age, boys are encouraged to take charge and offer their opinions. Teachers interact more with boys, call on them more frequently, and ask them more questions. Boys are also more likely to call out answers, and when they do, teachers usually listen to them. When girls call out, teachers often scold them for breaking the rules and remind them to raise their hands if they want to speak.”
I adore our friend “The Authority”, and he truly is a champion for hungry souls. At the same time, he has a male, foreign- based world view; and he may not be aware of how his bias can affect others. His advice is like any other advice – if it applies, follow it; if it doesn’t, leave it behind, without guilt. It struck me that his advice to you was limiting. Here is someone who is successful and whom we all admire, essentially telling you to be satisfied with what you’ve achieved. Part of his point was to say: recognize what you HAVE accomplished. But I hear you consistently saying you can do more, and have an urgent need to realize that aspiration. Listen to that too.
My thoughts: if you want more, go and get it. Honor that need, that ambition, that drive – while at the same time, realizing the impact you do have. Be grateful…AND aspire to more.
- Where do you make your highest point of contribution?
- What do you want to say you have accomplished when you are looking back on your life?
You may not have answers to these right now, but if you work on this, it will inform your next steps.
“Fear is at the root of so many of the barriers that women (and men) face. Fear of not being liked. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of drawing negative attention. Fear of failure.
Your situation is challenging – when you’ve been part of a team for a long time, it can seem so hard to leave to move on to something else. Emotionally, you have a lot invested, as do they. And it is really hard to move into a new position when you aren’t sure what the team is like or what you will be able to accomplish. There are no guarantees and it is often easier to stay with the status quo. Once you make the move though, the path becomes clearer, and you begin to build something new.
We talked about gut on Friday night, and I wanted to point out that you have your own highly developed emotional intelligence. Leverage that.
Sheryl Sandberg talks about the leadership ambition gap and asks: “What would you do if you weren’t afraid? And then go do it.” This is great advice, and we all should follow it in the way that makes the most sense to each of us. In closing, I invite you to question the authority, take the good advice, leverage your emotional intelligence…and let yourself soar!
- Quotes from Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
- Highest point of contribution concept was introduced to me by Greg McKeown’s book: Essentialism